A Violation
by StellaDallas
Summary: A friend in need... What happens when one of their own needs help... Ch 1 rated M.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

Casey wearily walked into the precinct with slow steps simply too tired to face the berating that she knew was coming. This was the second time in two days that she was going to have to tell the detectives that they simply didn't have enough evidence for the search warrant they needed. It wasn't her fault. She had done everything she could.. even putting her reputation on the line by calling in every favor she could think of but the detectives just hadn't given her enough. She knew they were frustrated. She knew they were all running on no sleep for the last 36 hours trying to catch the bastard who had molested 8 children. These crimes always took a toll on everyone but the cases involving children were by far the most difficult. Even though Casey knew she had done everything she could she still harbored this feeling of guilt and incompetence. Because she doesn't work directly with the victims every day she sometimes thinks that the detectives don't realize that these cases have an effect on her as well. They don't realize how many sleepless nights she spends lying in bed thinking about those children and how she was failing them and future victims.

Suddenly even more exhausted and overcome with emotion, Casey quickly slipped into the restroom before going into the squad room. Aimlessly walking over to the far stall, Casey stepped inside and faced the wall pressing her forehead against the cool tile while she tried to gain the courage to face the wrath of the detectives.

As she was standing there she heard the restroom door open and sighed praying that whoever had entered wouldn't notice her and would just leave quickly.

She was so caught up in her self deprecating wallow that she didn't even notice the figure now directly behind her until she felt two strong hands on her shoulders quickly spinning her around. It happened so quickly that Casey didn't have time to react to the man standing in front of her.

In a matter of seconds Casey felt the room around her shrink he pressed his body against hers forcing her up against the wall of the stall. Her eyes were darting around wildly looking for a way to escape when he thrust his body up against her again pushing her small frame harder into the wall. Casey tried to push him away but her attempts were futile against his massive body. A panicked scream swelled in her throat but was preemptively silenced by a hand that roughly gripped her neck. Still trashing Casey tried desperately to breath and remain conscious. The lack of oxygen was weakening Casey's ability to fight back. Just when she thought she might pass out he loosened his grip slightly on her throat just enough so she could take shallow breaths. As he did this he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "You're going to want to stay awake for this baby."

His hot breath up against her neck sent shivers throughout her body. Tears burned in her eyes as his hand slipped under the hem of her sweater and roughly groped her breasts. Though he was still gripping her throat with his other hand a small barely audible sob escaped her lips. "You like that don't you baby", he panted into her ear. Casey inhaled sharply as his hand traveled down her bare stomach and she squeezed her eyes shut as he forced her skirt up and undid the buckle on his pants. A few moments later she felt the indescribable pain as he trust himself into her over and over grunting with each push. Casey lost all sense of reality. She didn't know how much time had passed before he finally pulled away and released her throat. Without a word he slipped out of the stall and Casey's trembling body slide to the ground as his footsteps retreated from the room.

In Casey's career she had seen many rape victims. She'd seen women traumatized in court blinking away thousands of images while reliving their rapes. And now there she was. A rape victim. Only she didn't feel anything. She was vaguely aware of the pain from the bruises her attacker left behind but mostly she felt an overwhelming numbness. There were no images passing before her eyes. There was only emptiness.

It was then that she heard the creak of the restroom door open again. Panic rose in her throat and she tried to push herself farther back into the stall as footsteps sounded on the restroom floor.

'please no. not again. please...'

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia had an unsettled feeling in her stomach as she walked into the restroom. She couldn't place the feeling exactly but her instincts were telling her that something wasn't right. It was then out of the corner of her eye that she saw a glimpse of red hair poking out of the stall on the far end of the restroom.

"Casey? Is that you?", Olivia called out uncertainly as she made her way further into the restroom.

Concern washed over Olivia when she didn't get a response.

Disregarding the privacy of a woman she didn't know very well, Olivia rushed to the other side of the room and let out an audible gasp at what she saw.

"Ohmygod Casey!", she cried in a rushed whisper.

She quickly dropped to her knees in front of the trembling red head and then realized she had moved too quickly as the woman recoiled in fear.

Moving much more slowly this time Olivia gently reached out her hand.

"Hey...", she whispered soothingly as she placed her hand tenderly on the woman's shoulder.

"Hey Case, it's okay. It's me. Olivia."

The red head still held her chin tucked down tightly to her chest and had yet to acknowledge the other woman's presence.

Olivia slid closer and tilted her head down trying to meet the young woman's gaze.

"Casey, honey, it's Liv. ...it's okay, sweetheart, it's just me. ...i'm not going to hurt you". Slowly Casey began to look up and Olivia saw the uncertain fearful look in her eyes.

"Liv?", she whispered.

Olivia nodded and brushed the hair away from Casey's face with her free hand; looking at her with deep concern.

Comforted by the gentle touch, the ADA's eyes finally met Olivia's for a brief second before her face crumbled and she looked away.

"Oh Casey...". she whispered sadly and instinctively wrapped her arms around the trembling woman.

Protected by Olivia's embrace, Casey sank into the other woman and sobbed uncontrollably.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia was sitting on the floor of the restroom cradling the ADA in her arms, whispering soothing things into her ear. Casey had only barely spoken one word and though Olivia didn't know exactly what had happened she knew she needed to get the attorney medical attention.

"Casey? Sweetheart?", Olivia spoke softly as she rubbed small circles on the ADA's back. "I need to get you out of here okay?"

Olivia wasn't sure but she thought she felt the smaller woman grip her more tightly. She knew she couldn't leave Casey alone and silently cursed herself that she didn't have her cell phone on her. She knew yelling for help was only going to further scare the traumatized young woman in her arms who she knew was barely holding it together.

"Shhh... I'm going to take care of you honey, okay? I'm not going to leave you...", Olivia continued, "Come on, I'm going to help you up".

Reaching up and grabbing the edge of the stall behind her, Olivia grunted as she carefully pulled herself and the young woman to their feet.

"Do you think you can walk?"

Casey didn't respond but slipped an arm over Olivia's shoulders and leaned in against the detective.

Taking her actions as an affirmative, Olivia slipped her arm around the ADA's waist and practically carried the woman out of the restroom.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

Two hours later Olivia was sitting on a stool next to Casey who was lying on an exam table in a curtained off room in the ER. Looking over at Casey she saw the young woman staring blankly off into space. It was the same look she had in her eyes during the ambulance ride to the hospital when Olivia could do nothing to comfort her except hold her hand.

Olivia thought back to the squad room. As soon as she pulled Casey from the restroom the men immediately jumped up and ran over to help causing Casey to panic and stumble backwards in fear. Luckily Olivia had been there to steady her, wave off the men, and calmly ask for Elliot to call a bus. She could see the question in Elliot's eyes that seemed to be asking her what had happened but all she could do was slowly shake her head and return her attention to the young woman in her arms.

Now that they were alone in the hospital the detective in Olivia was telling her to push Casey to tell her what happened knowing that the more time that ticked by the lesser the chance was that they would catch the person who had caused such terror in the young woman. The other side of Olivia though was looking over at the hurt woman who she had just begun to start to consider a good friend. It was that part of Olivia that knew the ADA was not ready to talk about what had happened. Unfortunately though it was the detective in Olivia - the same detective who had sat in this very position more times than she could count - who had a pretty good idea as to what happened to her friend.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It seemed to Casey that she had been lying in the ER forever now. She was vaguely aware of Olivia's presence next to her and vaguely aware of Olivia's hand on her shoulder. She was more aware, however, that she was lying down wearing only a flimsy hospital gown and feeling incredibly exposed. She knew she was in a hospital. She knew Olivia was with her. She knew she was for all intensive purposes safe... yet she still couldn't seem to swallow the panic that was intermittently causing her body to tremble.

As she lay in silence she heard someone pull the curtain aside and approach her. Her stomach clenched and she felt bile rising in her throat when she slowly looked over and saw a man standing over her.

The man picked up her chart from a nearby table and gave her a terse fake smile.

"Miss Novak?", he said without looking up.

It was more of a statement than a question.

Knowing her fear was unfounded, Casey swallowed hard and nodded.

"I'm Dr. Bergman", he continued. "I'll be examining you. It says here that a nurse has already taken your blood work and sent it to the lab?"

Again more of a statement than a question.

"Do you remember if you hit your head during the attack?"

Casey slowly shook her head and Dr. Bergman ignored her slight recoil as he quickly moved his hands to her face and held her eyelids open as he shined a bright light in her eyes.

Casey knew Olivia must have sensed her discomfort because she felt Olivia's hand slip into her own briefly squeezing it before rubbing her thumb slowly over the back of Casey's hand. Casey glanced over and even in her somewhat dazed state thought she saw Olivia shooting the doctor daggers with her eyes.

Casey attention focused back on Dr. Bergman when she heard him ask if she was in any pain. Casey's hand instinctively moved to her neck where dark purple bruising was beginning to form. The doctor's hands followed and Casey winced both in pain and in fear as he probed her neck and made a note on the chart mumbling something about x-rays.

"Okay, I'm going to take a look at your stomach now and check your ribs for any broken bones", he stated as he pulled a sheet up to her waist and lifted her gown to just below her bust line. She felt his cold hands running over her ribs and she squeezed her eyes shut tight and looked away as he pushed down on different parts of her stomach starting near the top and working his way down.

Noticing her reaction for what seemed like the first time since he start the exam he asked if she was in pain but then continued when she shook her head.

Once again Casey felt Olivia squeeze her hand and was grateful that she wasn't alone with this man. As an attorney who prosecuted sex crimes on a daily basis she knew how important exams were and knew the importance of collecting any and all evidence. Yet as this doctor (whose bedside manner left something to be desired) continued to touch her it took all the self-control she had to resist screaming for him to stop. The feeling of his large cold hands on her stomach was all too familiar and she found herself silently pleading for him to stop and for Olivia to protect her and throw him out of the room.

Lost in her inner battle Casey had missed what the doctor had said but noticed that her stomach was once again covered by her gown. Her relief didn't last long however when she saw him wheel a stool over to the end of the exam table. When she went to move her legs they were trembling and she felt his cold hands once again as he guided them into the stirrups.

Casey kept repeating to herself over and over that this man was a doctor and wasn't going to hurt to her but she couldn't manage to calm herself down. All she could think about was feeling trapped by the man in the bathroom stall. His body crushing hers. His hands roughly making their way up her skirt...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia watched the young attorney's legs tremble as the doctor put them in the stirrups and found herself about to stop the exam for about the 10th time since Dr. Bergman first walked through the door. She couldn't believe the way he was treating a rape victim. His bedside manner was terrible to put it mildly. He had yet to even make eye contact with Casey. He abruptly reached for her and grabbed her without taking the time to warn her what was coming. The woman lying before him had just been violated a few hours ago in the worst possible way and this man was now essentially violating her all over again. Olivia knew Casey was trying to be strong but the pain in Casey's eyes as the doctor probed her stomach broke Olivia's heart. She could tell by the death grip that Casey had on her hand that she wasn't going to be able to hold it together much longer and Olivia knew she had to speak up for her friend.

"Excuse me? Dr. Bergman?", Olivia said abruptly.

The doctor snapped his head up clearly not pleased with the interruption. "Yes, detective?"

Olivia looked hard at the doctor. "I'm sorry to interrupt but could you please give us a minute before you start the pelvic exam?".

Glancing over at Casey she thought she saw a flicker of relief in the young woman's eyes. Olivia returned her hardened stare to the doctor. It was a stare usually reserved for suspects and perps but a stare Olivia felt the doctor deserved even after only meeting him ten minutes ago.

"Detective..", the doctor began somewhat more pointedly than necessary, "it really is important that we finish this exam as soon as possible". He half stood for a second and looked over at Casey. "Miss Novak, is it alright with you if we continue?"

Olivia saw Casey nod slowly and despite the fact that she was overcome with rage and ready to throttle the doctor she knew Casey was trying to be strong and trying to get the whole thing over with.

Ignoring the look the doctor gave her as he sat back down, Olivia pulled her stool closer to the attorney and massaged her shoulder with one hand while placing her other hand on the young woman's head brushing nonexistent hairs off her forehead with her thumb. Leaning in close to Casey's ear she whispered, "It's almost over sweetheart. You're doing great".

"Okay, Miss Novak, you're going to feel my touch", the doctor stated.

Olivia felt every muscle in Casey's frail body tighten. She tried to move as close as possible to comfort the ADA. She started to whisper "It's okay. I'm here. You're okay." but was interrupted by the doctor's booming voice.

"Miss Novak, I'm going to need you to relax so I can examine you."

Olivia avoided the urge to shoot the doctor another death glare and instead focused her attention Casey by continuing to whisper soothing things into her ear and not breaking physical contact. Olivia felt Casey's body slowing begin to relax a little.

"That's better, Miss Novak. I'm going to check for tearing. You may feel some discomfort".

As the doctor began probing, Olivia felt Casey's body start to tremble. She looked to Casey's face and saw that her eyes were squeezed shut and her face was contorted as if she was trying to bite back a scream. A few seconds passed and Casey began to whimper and shake more severely. Tears were streaming down her face when Olivia heard her whisper "Stop. Please stop." Casey's voice was filled with pure fear when she repeated more loudly, "Please. No! Stop! Please!".

Olivia immediately jumped up and put a stop to the exam. Dr. Bergman, looking somewhat thrown, stood up surprisingly without any resistance and nodded as he backed out of the room.

Olivia rushed back over to Casey's side and climbed onto the table next to next to the woman who was trying to suppress her hysteria. Casey had withdrawn her feet from the stirrups and was now lying on her side curled up in a tight ball. Olivia wrapped her arms tightly around the woman and held her close as Casey's body shuddered violently with each sob.

"I'm sorry, Olivia. I'm sorry.", Casey whispered over and over again while her body inadvertently rocked back and forth. "I'm sorry."

"Oh Casey..", Olivia replied biting back tears of her own. "You have nothing to be sorry about sweetheart. I'm so sorry I put you through that. I should have stopped it sooner. It is NOT your fault. Dr. Bergman is an ass and I'm going to make sure his superiors are made aware of it."

Olivia sighed holding Casey tighter, "I'm so sorry, Case. You did NOTHING wrong. Please don't ever think that."

As Olivia tried to comfort Casey she silently berated herself. She had promised Casey that she would take care of her and wouldn't let anything else happen to her and that's exactly what she had just let happen.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

Olivia was once again sitting on the stool next to Casey when a young petite nurse quietly slipped around the curtain. The nurse smiled at the two women and laid a set of hospital issue sweats on the end of the exam table before telling the women to take all the time they needed and slipping out just as quietly.

After the incident with Dr. Bergman it had taken Casey a little over a half hour to calm down before letting another doctor examine her. Olivia had been relieved that Casey's new doctor had been female. Dr. Amy Grant had been extremely gentle and although she had taken every precaution to make Casey comfortable, the attorney had not said a word during the exam.

Olivia stood up and picked up the sweats aimlessly shaking them out in front of her. The detective's emotions tugged at her heart as she saw her friend sitting on the edge of the exam table, feet dangling over the edge, staring blankly at the floor.

Reaching out Olivia cupped the attorney's chin in her hand and tilted the ADA's head up until she made eye contact.

"What do you say we get you out of here huh?", Olivia offered.

After pulling on the sweats Casey sighed and sat back down as if the effort of getting dressed had worn her out.

"They're all going to be out there aren't they?", she whispered.

Olivia carefully sat down on the table next to Casey and covered Casey's hand with her own.

"Who's out there, sweetheart?", she said compassionately.

"The guys.", Casey responded while her gaze returned to a familiar spot on the floor. "Cragen, Elliot, Munch, Fin..."

Olivia sighed not really knowing how to respond. The last thing Olivia had heard before she climbed into the ambulance with Casey was Elliot calling out to her that they would meet her at the hospital.

"Yah, honey. I'm pretty sure they are", she replied honestly.

"Casey, listen to me...", Olivia started, pausing until she was sure the ADA was listening, "you're like family to us. Everyone at the station cares about you and wants to be there for you.", she said firmly while squeezing the young woman's hand. "Everyone of those guys thinks of you like a sister."

Casey didn't look up but she nodded slowly as if processing what the detective had said.

After several seconds Casey whispered something inaudible as her eyes glassed over.

Shifting her position so she was now sitting with one leg tucked under her and facing the ADA, Olivia tilted her head down trying to meet Casey's gaze.

"What was that sweetheart?", Olivia asked gently while pulling Casey's hand into her lap.

Clearing her throat Casey repeated, "Are you going to tell them?" before quickly turning her head away from Olivia and facing the wall.

Confused, Olivia paused for a moment before gently asking, "Am I going to tell them about the rape?"

Shaking her head Casey turned her body completely away from the older woman, covered her face with her hands in shame, and began crying softly.

"Hey... Case?..." Olivia whispered as she inched forward wrapping her arms around the young woman and resting her chin on the attorney's shoulder. "Talk to me, honey..."

Though she didn't withdraw her hands from her face, Casey leaned back accepting Olivia's embrace. "Are you going to tell them about what happened with Dr. Bergman?", she finally managed to ask.

"What?", Olivia replied as she pulled Casey's hands down so she could at least see part of her face.

Still shuddering Casey's voice was soft but her speech picked up speed as she spoke, "I'm so humiliated, Liv. I don't know what came over me. I'm a grown woman. I've been to a doctor before. I kept telling myself he was here to help me... but... but... h-his... hands... when he touched me... I..."

"Casey, shhh...", Olivia interrupted, "it's okay."

"No!", Casey exclaimed startling the detective.

"No, it's not okay.", she continued pounding a fist against the vinyl table. "God, Olivia I'm so embarrassed that even you saw that... I can't imagine what you must think of me. And now... oh god... what are the guys going to think?..."

Tears were now visibly running down Casey's face.

"Hey", Olivia replied firmly but lovingly.

"Cassandra Lynn Novak, you listen to me. You have NOTHING and I mean NOTHING to be ashamed of", she continued briefly tightening her arms around the ADA as if to punctuate every point. "Do you want to know what I think of you? I think you are an incredibly STRONG BRAVE woman who SURVIVED something today that no person should ever have to go through. Honey, you are absolutely justified in EVERYTHING that you're feeling right now."

Olivia loosened her grip and shifted back slightly so she could turn the young woman around to face her. The detective reached up and wiped Casey's tears with her hand before holding Casey's hands in hers and speaking again, "Case, I am so glad that you trusted me to help you through this. Please don't regret that now."

Casey sat dumbfounded for a second unsure when she and Olivia had gotten this close... unsure why she deserved a friend like Olivia. She had meant what she said before... that this woman she respected and admired had seen her act like a child and that humiliated her... yet sitting here at this moment Casey was unbelievably grateful Olivia was with her. She wasn't sure she deserved this affection and attention but she was grateful for it.

Looking up into the detective's soft pleading brown eyes, her frustration started to melt away and she fell willingly into the older woman's arms for about the 100th time that day.

"I don't want the guys to know, Liv", she whispered into the detectives shoulder.

"Then we won't tell them.", Olivia responded firmly as she stroked the back of the attorney's head.

"Case...", Olivia continued slowly, "I wish I could promise you that all this is just between you and me but we both know that I can't make that promise."

Feeling Casey's body tense, Olivia quickly went on, "What I CAN promise you though is that aside from the results of the rape kit everything that happened here won't leave this room okay?"

Casey nodded and relaxed somewhat.

"Olivia?", Casey asked still not letting go.

"Yah, honey?."

"I don't want to see them. ... the guys... I... I can't imagine what they must be thinking right now... what... what they must be picturing...".

Casey's voice trailed off.

Olivia paused for a moment. "I know, sweetheart."

"And I wish I could put you in my car right now and drive you home…", she continued, "but… you're going to have to make your statement eventually and it's better if we do it sooner rather than later."

Casey sighed seeming to ponder this for a moment before pulling herself out of Olivia's embrace.

"I don't know if I can do this, Olivia.", Casey stated honestly while staring at her lap.

At a loss for how to help her friend and wishing there was another option Olivia let out a small sigh of her own before responding.

"Casey, I'll tell you what… I'll ask the guys to back off and give you some space… and I'll take your statement myself. It'll just be me and you in that room okay? … you won't have to tell anyone else what happened right away but I'm not going to lie to you…", Olivia paused trying to gauge Casey's reaction. "You know how these things work, Case. You know Cragen's probably going to be in his office watching you give your statement from the other side of the glass and you know the guys are going to have to review what happened so they can catch this guy."

Casey frowned but nodded.

"Case? I know this is personal but like I said before all the guys love you and just want to help you.", Olivia paused before adding, "… and you know I love you and I promise you that I'm going to be with you every step of the way, okay?"

Casey looked up with tears in her eyes. "… Thanks Liv… I… I don't know what to say…".

Olivia took Casey's hand, helped her off the table, and placed a hand on the small of the ADA's back to steady her as Casey's legs wobbled slightly.

"You don't have to say anything.", Olivia replied succinctly. "Now let's get you out of here…"


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

Captain Cragen stepped out of his office and walked into the middle of the squad room with his arms folded across his chest.

"Okay where are with this people?", he said to no one in particular but making sure he kept his voice low. "Have we heard from the lab on how long it will be before we get anything from the rape kit?"

Olivia looked up from the corner of the room where she had been getting coffee. "I'm not sure, Captain. At least a few days I imagine. We could probably call to put a rush on it."

"No need.", John interrupted looking up from his desk. "Melinda called here about ten minutes ago while you were bringing Casey in. She said she would process the kit herself as we speak. She said she preferred to do the tests herself and involve as few people as possible."

"Good.", Cragen replied. "Listen everyone, I know this one's personal but I need everyone to stay focused here. An ADA was attacked right here in our own house. The press is going to get word of this eventually but they're not going to hear it from us. I want everyone to keep a lid on this thing. As of right now the only people who are going anywhere near this case are the four of you."

Cragen looked at each of the detectives who nodded in turn.

"Liv?", Fin began, "Novak barely said two words when we brought her back here. Did she say ANYTHING to you at the hospital?"

Olivia paused for a moment, mindful of her promise to Casey, while she considered the question. "No, Fin. She didn't. Nothing pertaining to the case."

No one said anything for a few moments until Cragen looked over at Olivia and Elliot and spoke up again. "I think it's time we found out what happened..."

Both Olivia and Elliot nodded and started walking toward the interrogation room before Olivia put her hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"What is it, Olivia?" Elliot asked as turned toward her.

"Listen Elliot...", Olivia began hesitantly, "I think Casey would be more comfortable talking to just me..."

"What! Olivia!", Elliot cried incredulously, "I do this for a living to you know... I deal with rape victims all the time. I'm perfectly capable to taking a rape victim's statement".

Olivia noticed Elliot's hands clenching and unclenching while he spoke.

"Elliot...", Olivia said softly, "this has nothing to do with you. She was violated a few hours ago. She's humiliated, El. She doesn't want you and the guys to see her like this."

"I just want to help.", Elliot replied as his hands relaxed.

"I know, El.", Olivia said squeezing his shoulder, "and you will. Just not right this second okay? She just needs some time."

"Okay, Liv", Elliot replied finally relenting, "let me know if you need anything okay?"

Olivia smiled at her partner. "I will.", she said but then turned back around before walking away. "Hey El?"

"Yah."

"Listen... do you think you could maybe talk to the guys? Ask them to give her a little space? I know they all want to help but...", Olivia trailed off.

"Sure Liv", Elliot assured her, "right now we'll help Casey by finding this guy."

"Thanks, El."

Olivia walked toward the interrogation room door, cup of coffee in hand, and paused for a moment to take a few deep breaths before opening the door. What she had said to Elliot was true. This one was different. Olivia empathized with all her victims. In fact that's probably what helped make her such a good cop but she had never dreaded this conversation with any victim more than she did right now. Actually, Olivia had dreaded every part to today starting with the moment she caught of glimpse of Casey in the restroom. If she had only walked in a few minutes earlier...

Olivia shook her head. She couldn't let herself think those kinds of thoughts right now. Right now she had to focus on helping Casey. There would be plenty of time for self-wallow later...


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

As Olivia entered the room she set the cup of coffee in front of Casey before taking her seat across the table with her back to the two-way mirror. She saw Casey give her a slight smile without meeting her eyes. Casey's hands reached up and grasped the cup staring intently into the mug.

"Sorry about the coffee.", Olivia said apologetically, "It's decaf. Munch used the last of the regular this morning and didn't replace it."

Casey knew what Olivia was trying to do. She'd watched her do it a million times before. Whenever the detective talked to a victim she always started out by talking about something nonsensical to make the victim feel more comfortable before the hard questions came. Casey wondered if the technique was in the SVU detective manual. It probably was she realized. She hated that it was being used on her… not because she didn't appreciate what Olivia was trying to do but because it just further affirmed that she was a victim.

Realizing she hadn't said a word for what must have been a solid five minutes Casey cleared her throat and heard a voice that she didn't recognize as being her own force out a gravely thanks.

After another minute or two passed she heard Olivia's voice trying to coax her out of her haze again.

"Casey?…"

Without raising her head Casey's dim green eyes slowly looked up until they caught Olivia's compassionate gaze. Almost immediately Casey wanted to bolt from the room but instead she steeled herself against the table and forced herself to keep looking at the detective.

Olivia's voice softened as she leaned in closer, "Tell me what happened, Case".

Casey opened her mouth to speak and then realized she couldn't force any words out. As she tried to swallow the giant cotton ball in her throat she became acutely aware of the temperature in the room. She had been shivering a few minutes before but now her palms were sweaty and beads of perspiration were forming on her brow.

Sensing Casey's discomfort, Olivia tried to start the young woman off.

"When I spoke to you on the phone this morning you were on your way to the courthouse to try to procure a warrant in the Adams case…", Olivia began purposely letting her voice trailing off.

Casey pulled her hands into her lap and wiped her sweaty palms on her sweatpants stalling for time. Her brain was screaming at her to speak. To stop humiliating herself in front of her colleagues. To stop being so weak.

She looked back up at Olivia with pleading eyes that threatened to overflow with tears at any moment.

As she bit her bottom lip hard to keep from crying she saw Olivia stretch her arm across the table and offer her hand. Casey tried unsuccessfully to steady her shaking hand as she withdrew it from her lap and placed her palm lightly against the detective's. As soon as she made contact she felt Olivia's hand close firmly around her own.

"Casey…", Olivia said softly so only the ADA could hear, "…stay with me okay? I know you can do this. We'll take it nice and slow… just start at the beginning…"

Returning her voice to a normal volume but not letting go of Casey's hand Olivia gently asked, "What time did you leave the courthouse, Case?".

"Um…", Casey cleared her throat and swallowed hard.

"… a little after ten o'clock", she managed to reply quietly.

"And then you came here to deliver the warrant?", Olivia prompted.

"No.", Casey shook her head, "No, I couldn't get the warrant, Olivia. That's what I came by to tell you guys. I tried everything. I'm sorry". Casey looked down dejectedly but looked back up when she felt Olivia squeeze her hand tightly.

"Don't apologize, Casey. Everyone knew it was a long shot to begin with." she said trying to reassure the young woman.

"Did you notice anything strange on your way here? Like maybe someone walking kind of close to you or looking at you funny?", Olivia asked.

"No.", Casey whispered. "Though I don't think I was really paying attention…", she admitted just as quietly.

"Okay", Olivia continued gently, "what happened after you got here?"

"I um… I was tired", Casey stuttered, "the um… this case… it was kind of taking a lot out of me."

Olivia nodded understandingly but remained quiet so the ADA could continue.

"I um… I needed a minute…", Casey continued as she began to bite her upper lip again, "so I um… I ducked into the restroom…"

Olivia kept her voice controlled, "Did you notice anyone in there when you walked in?".

"No.", Casey whispered barely audibly, "No, I was alone."

"What happened next?"

"Um… I heard the door open…", Casey's voice began to shake, "I heard… footsteps… I didn't think…"

"Where were you when you heard the door open?", Olivia interjected gently.

"I was… my eyes were closed…", Casey answered, "I was leaning against the wall… my back… my back was turned."

Olivia sensed Casey withdrawing and felt her start to pull her hand away. Olivia met Casey's gaze and held onto her hand tighter, squeezing it encouragingly, "What happened next, Case?"

"Hands.", Casey whispered, visibly shaking now. "Hands… on my shoulders. … I didn't see… I didn't know… I didn't know he was there."

"He pushed… he pushed me in… into the wall", Casey stumbled, "I… I couldn't mo-move. He… he…".

Casey faltered as a sob escaped her lips. She looked down as tears fell from her face onto the table.

Pushing back her chair but not releasing Casey's hand, Olivia stood up and walked around the table. Without saying a word Olivia knelt down next to the younger woman and began gently stroking her hair.

After giving the attorney a few moments to calm herself, Olivia took both of Casey's hands in hers.

"Casey? What happened next?

Olivia saw Casey look up at her and then look over apprehensively at the two way mirror.

"Hey," Olivia said pulling Casey's gaze away from the mirror, "just focus on me, Casey. You're doing fine."

Casey didn't look away but took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "He had his hand… around my throat. I couldn't… I couldn't breath." Tears started to slide down her cheeks again. "I can… I can still f-feel him, L-Liv… his breath… on my… on my skin…god…"

"Casey.", Olivia said firmly, "Honey, open your eyes."

The ADA slowly obeyed.

"Don't close your eyes... just look at me, Case", Olivia continued more softly, "You're safe now."

"Casey, what happened after he grabbed your throat?"

Casey concentrated intently on Olivia's compassionate brown eyes while willing herself to keep talking. "He… he… um… was… r-rubbing against me… and he was touch… touching me…"

"Honey I know this difficult.", Olivia started slowly hating herself for what she had to ask, "but I need you tell me where he touched you."

The younger woman's eyes immediately dropped to her lap where her hands where still joined with the detectives.

"He had his hand up my shirt", she responded with surprising clarity but so quietly that Olivia had to strain to hear her. "… groped my breasts. My stomach. My…"

Her voice trailed off and she paused before resuming, "he pushed up my skirt. …t-touched me."

Casey's voice sounded so distant and hollow Olivia wanted nothing more than to gather the young woman in her arms and take away her hurt. Olivia hated that she was making Casey relive this. She hated that she was contributing the pain her friend was feeling right now. She knew she had a job to do and she knew that what she was doing was going to play a part in helping Casey. … but right now she hated herself for doing it.

Olivia pulled one of her hands free from Casey's and squeezed the young woman's shoulder in support.

"Tell me what happened next, Case.", she finally asked.

Olivia could feel Casey's shoulder move up and down as she sobbed silently.

Olivia waited and was about to prompt the young woman again when she heard a whisper.

"He pushed… forced himself inside me.", Casey admitted quietly as she continued to shudder, "He ra… he r-raped me, Liv".

"God, it hurt.", Olivia barely heard her whisper.

Olivia's cop façade cracked slightly right then and she moved closer to embrace her hurt friend.

"I know sweetheart", Olivia whispered once again in a tone only the young attorney could hear. "I know. … I'm so sorry."

Olivia felt Casey hands gripping the fabric of her sweater as the ADA cried hard into her shoulder.

Olivia held the young woman tighter and rubbed small circles on her back. "Shhh… it's okay… I got you… I'm not going anywhere", She whispered soothingly.

The detective noticed that her own cheeks were now wet with tears as she continued to embrace the attorney. Her eyes drifted over to the two way mirror on the other side of the room and she could almost feel herself making eye contact with the captain through the glass. She knew she was quickly losing her inner battle to remain impartial and professional. She briefly thought that Cragen might knock on the glass and send someone else in to replace her but when that didn't happen she realized that the captain was also affected by this. She realized that this time the lines were less clear.

Olivia knew she still needed more information from the attorney but she also knew that right now it would take every cop in that squad room to come in and physically pull her out before she would willingly pry her sobbing friend from her arms. Instead she opted to hold the ADA tighter and continue to whisper soothing things into her ear until _Casey_ decided she was ready to continue.


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

Captain Cragen moved away from the two-way mirror where he had watched the entire exchange between the two woman and dropped down in his chair. Propping his elbows on his desk he began massaging his temples.

Olivia had managed to get most of the story from Casey but the detectives still needed a description of the attacker. After just witnessing one of his colleagues literally crumble before his eyes though the captain thought it better to give the two women a few minutes before pushing Olivia to continue.

Though the captain would never admit it to any of his subordinates, he held himself personally responsible for the attack on the young ADA. It was his responsibility to keep his own station house safe. The fact that one of their own was attacked literally a few hundred feet away from himself and his detectives both infuriated him and made him feel like he let a young woman down.

Determined not to fail in his duties again, he picked up the phone and dialed a four digit extension from memory.

The phone rang once before the man on the other end of the line picked up.

"Munch."

"John, it's Cragen.", the captain spoke assertively, "Olivia is still in there with Novak taking her statement but I want you and Fin to go pull the security tapes for this morning starting at 9:30. Whoever attacked Novak would have had to have walked through the door and shown their face to the camera at some point."

"You got it, Cap.", John replied but then paused a moment before continuing, "uhh… Cap? Are we sure that whoever attacked Casey walked in off the street? I mean whoever it was could work here and could have already been in the building before Casey arrived."

Cragen pinched the bridge of his nose. He had considered the possibility though the thought that the ADA's attacker was someone he might have walked past every day made his heart sink to the pit of his stomach.

"I know, John.", Cragen replied somewhat quietly. "Olivia's going to get a description from Novak shortly. Let's start with the tapes from around the time of the attack and then we'll broaden our search if we don't come up with anything."

"We'll get right on it.", John replied before hanging up the phone.

Returning the phone to it's cradle Cragen slowly rose from his chair and reluctantly walked back over the glass. Flipping the switch on the intercom he leaned against the wall and listened as the questioning continued.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia was no longer kneeling on the floor but had pulled her chair around to the other side of the table so she could sit closer to the ADA.

Giving Casey's hand a quick squeeze before picking up her pen she reassured the young woman. "You're doing great, Case. I promise we're almost done I just have to ask you a few more questions. Is that okay?"

Casey nodded silently and Olivia resumed her line of questioning.

"Casey, did he say anything to you during the attack?", she asked.

Casey placed her forearms on the table and began ringing her hands together.

"He um… when he grabbed my throat… I c-couldn't breath. I thought… I was going to pass out. … that… that he was g-going to k-kill me", she admitted before taking in a jagged breath and continuing.

"When I… s-started to pass out he loose… loosened his grip on my throat and said 'You're going to want to stay awake for this baby.'", Casey said shivering.

After jotting down her notes Olivia looked up with those same compassionate eyes.

"Did he say anything else?", the detective asked.

Looking down at the table Casey nodded but didn't respond.

Reaching out and covering Casey's hands with one of her own, Olivia gently prompted her again.

"What did he say, Case?"

"Uhhh… when he… when he was t-touching me… he um… he said… 'You like that don't you baby'", she spat out in disgust.

Olivia gave Casey's hand a supportive squeeze. "Casey, did you get a good look at him? Can you describe him to me?"

"I um… I don't know…", the ADA replied nervously.

"It's okay, Case. Just take your time…", Olivia said silently praying that Casey would be able to give them some sort of description to go off of.

"He… um… he was big… heavy… broad shoulders… kind of overweight but not too tall… maybe 5'8"?", Casey sighed frustrated with her inability to describe a man who she couldn't get out of her mind. "I'm sorry.", she relented.

"Don't be sorry Casey you're doing fine.", Olivia encouraged, "How about his hair or his eyes?"

"Dark hair… dark eyes…". Though the attorney was staring intently at the table she had this tortured look in her eyes like she thought she was failing miserably at giving the detective a clear description. Dark hair? Dark eyes? She had just named her attacker as one of over half the world's population. She silently admonished herself while struggling to give the detective more details. Anything.

"Umm..", she began, "he… uh… his face. When he um… his face was rough… like he hadn't shaved."

"I'm sorry, Olivia.", she said again dejectedly, "I know this isn't helpful."

Olivia placed her pen down on the table and pulled Casey's hand until the attorney's body was facing hers.

"Honey, look at me", the older woman instructed.

Casey looked up and saw the warm caring expression on the detective's face. She was relieved to see that Olivia wasn't angry with her but that didn't mean that Casey was being any more helpful.

"Casey…", Olivia said once she had the red head's attention, "I promise, you're doing fine. I wouldn't lie to you. You just tell me what you remember and let me worry about the rest okay?"

When she saw Casey nod Olivia continued.

"How about what he was wearing? Was it a suit? A uniform? Jeans?"

Casey thought for a moment. She thought about how she had instinctively put her hand on his bare wrist when he grabbed her throat. She thought about when the fabric of his shirt touched her bare stomach. She thought about the sound of him undoing the buckle on his pants and pulling down the zipper.

Swallowing a familiar panic that was rising in her throat, Casey responded quickly "T-shirt. Short sleeved. Dark. Soft."

Tears burned her eyes as she continued.

"I could… um… when he… when he p-pushed against me… I… I felt a buckle. It was big… flat.", her hands trembled as she paused.

"Jeans.", she blurted out, "his… his leg… he used his knee to… to pry my legs a-apart. I felt the d-denim. There… there was a zipper."

Olivia tore her eyes away from Casey and looked over at the mirror. She knew this was the best description they were going to get from the woman and it was as if she was trying to make eye contact with Cragen through the mirror to get his approval to stop.

A second later she heard a light rap on the glass which was Cragen's way on indicating they had what they needed.

Turning back to the ADA, Olivia pushed her pad aside and gave Casey's now trembling body a firm hug.

"It's over sweetheart.", she whispered, "You did great."

After holding the attorney for a few more minutes, Olivia gently pulled away.

"I just need to talk to the captain for second and get his permission to take you home. Are you going to be okay while I'm gone?", Olivia asked.

Casey nodded and Olivia quietly exited the room and made her way to the captain's office while avoiding the questioning stares of the rest of the squad.

"Captain?", Olivia asked as she stepped into the office and saw Cragen standing up against the glass still watching Casey.

Cragen slowly tore himself away from the window and walked over to Olivia placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I know that wasn't easy, Liv", he said in a fatherly tone. "You did good."

Though tears threatened to fall from Olivia's eyes she kept them at bay.

Thanks, Don. was all Olivia could manage to say.

Giving her shoulder one final squeeze the captain took a few steps back as he sometimes felt uncomfortable showing his detective's signs of affection.

"Why don't you give your notes to Elliot on your way out, Liv, and take Casey home.", Cragen instructed.

Olivia nodded and turned to leave but looked back when the captain spoke again.

"Take care of her, Liv", he said quietly.

Olivia gave the captain what she hoped was a smile and nodded again before leaving the office.


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

As Olivia walked Casey down the hallway toward the young woman's apartment she kept her arm wrapped firmly around the ADA's waist letting Casey's tired body use her for support. Casey was still a little unsteady on her feet partially because of her emotionally drained state and partially because of the physical soreness from the bruises and the rape itself. Olivia knew Casey was too proud to admit that she was in pain but the detective was extremely grateful that so far Casey hadn't rejected the older woman's help.

When they reached Casey's door her hands fumbled with the keys as if she was having trouble getting her hands to work properly. The keys eventually fell to the floor and Casey groaned in pain as she attempted to bend down and pick them up.

Placing a reassuring hand on Casey's arm Olivia retrieved the keys and opened the door. When Casey didn't step inside right away Olivia looked up and saw a look of frustration and another emotion she couldn't identify in Casey's eyes.

"Hey.", Olivia said reassuringly, "your body just needs some time to heal, Case. Let me help you."

Olivia was actually surprised when Casey didn't protest and instead leaned back into the detective for support. This was the same woman who after having her appendix removed last year refused any help from any of the squad and as a result had managed to rip open her stitches while grabbing a coffee mug off a top shelf. It was hard for Olivia to see her friend this way. … the fire gone from her eyes. Olivia knew that eventually the old Casey would emerge again but she also knew it was going to take some time and Olivia promised herself that she would be there to make sure that happened. She refused to let Casey give up on herself.

Once inside the apartment Olivia guided Casey to her bedroom and helped her sit down on the bed.

Olivia gave the young red head a small smile. "As stellar as those hospital sweats are why don't we get you into your clothes huh?"

Although Casey didn't respond and had seemed to have fallen back into her almost catatonic state, Olivia rose from the bed and walked over to the dresser removing a pair of underwear, flannel pants, and a long sleeve t-shirt that she knew to be Casey's favorite.

As she lay the clothes next to Casey on the bed, she noticed the ADA had her arms folded and was rubbing her triceps as if she was cold.

Speaking the first words she had spoken since they left the precinct, Casey didn't look up but turned toward Olivia and whispered, "I can still… I can still f-feel him on me, L-Liv… his sweat… h-his breath… his…". Her voice trailed off.

Olivia squatted down in front of the red head and placed her hands on her knees. "How 'bout a shower.", she offered and then stood extending her hand.

Helping Casey into the bathroom she retrieved a clean towel from the closet and placed it on the sink along with Casey's robe.

"Do you need any help?", Olivia asked gently.

Still looking at the floor, Casey shook her head.

Olivia reached over and turned on the shower before giving the attorney's arm a squeeze. "I'll be right outside. Call if you need anything."

After receiving a nod from her friend, Olivia quietly slipped out closing the door behind her.

As she walked back into Casey's bedroom she flopped back onto the attorney's bed and laid there for a moment as tears sprung to her eyes. Knowing Casey wouldn't be back for a few minutes the detective finally allowed herself to release all the emotions that had built up inside throughout the day. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she allowed herself to cry freely but silently. She pictured Casey's broken body lying on the ground of the bathroom stall. She pictured the pain in Casey's face when she finally looked up at her for the first time; the fear in her eyes during the hospital exam; the pleading look on her face during the interview when she was seemingly begging Olivia not to put her through it.

After allowing herself that temporary release the detective knew she had to pull herself back together. Right now this wasn't about her. It was about Casey and Casey needed her to be strong for both of them.

Forcing herself up off the bed Olivia walked over to the kitchen, splashed cold water on her face, and then padded it dry with a paper towel. It was when she removed her gun and badge and placed them on the kitchen counter that she finally noticed the time on the microwave.

She hadn't realized how long she had been lying on Casey's bed but was surprised to see that an hour and a half had passed.

Walking back over to the bathroom door she became concerned to hear the water still running. Cursing herself for letting her guard down Olivia gently knocked on the door and waited for a response.

When she didn't get one she knocked a little louder. "Case? Honey, it's Liv. Are you okay in there?"

Still no response.

Now thoroughly concerned Olivia placed her hand on the door knob. "Casey? It's just me. I'm coming in…"

Olivia opened the door and was blasted by the thick steam and overwhelming heat. She stepped in cautiously to see the hospital sweats strewn across the floor and the shower curtain drawn.

"Casey?", Olivia asked again, "Are you okay?"

Carefully peeling back the shower curtain, Olivia's heart sunk. Casey was wrapped tightly in her bathrobe sitting on the floor of the tub completely soaked as tears streamed down her face.

Olivia cautiously knelt down making sure to keep her movements slow as she wasn't sure Casey had processed her presence yet.

Reaching into the shower to turn off the water Olivia winced as the almost searing hot water hit her forearm.

Olivia looked up somewhat started when she heard Casey speak.

"I c-couldn't… I couldn't…", Casey stumbled in a raspy voice, "I'm sor… I'm sorry."

Olivia gently reached over and pulled the wet strands of red hair off of the young woman's face. "Shhh… it's okay honey. Don't apologize."

Olivia stood up briefly to grab the oversized towel off the counter before kneeling back down.

"Come on, Case. Let me help you.", she said offering her hand, "You're going to freeze in there".

Casey reluctantly held out her hand and allowed Olivia to help her out of the shower.

"I'm sorry." Casey repeated hollowly while Olivia wrapped her in the towel and helped her discard the drenched robe.

Holding both of the young woman's shoulders Olivia bent her head down until Casey looked up and met her eyes. "You have nothing to apologize for.", Olivia said simply and paused for a moment to let her words sink in before guiding the red head back to her room.

Handing Casey her pajamas Olivia turned her back in search of something for herself to wear as well as to give Casey some privacy while she changed.

After putting on a pair of Casey's pajamas she turned back around to see Casey curled up in a ball on her bed. Olivia walked over slowly and sat down next to Casey.

"Do you want to talk about it?", she asked gently as she stroked the young woman's hair; a gesture that she had noticed seemed to comfort the ADA.

Olivia let out a small sigh when the red head shook her head but as soon as she stood up she heard Casey's voice.

"Please don't go.", Casey said weakly.

Olivia nodded, gave Casey's arm a quick squeeze, and started to walk to the other side of the room to turn the light off.

"Liv?", Casey began hesitantly, "Could you… could you leave the light on?"

Without saying a word Olivia turned around and walked to the other side of the bed lying down on her side facing Casey. When she noticed Casey's body shift backwards as if searching for the detective, Olivia slid closer and began stroking the smaller woman's hair again to let her know she was there.

Several minutes passed and neither woman said a word until Casey finally spoke up in the same quiet voice Olivia was becoming accustomed to.

"I lied.", she whispered.

Olivia hesitated for a moment before propping herself up on her elbow and moving her hand to Casey's upper arm.

"Lied about what, Case?", she asked.

Casey was quiet again for a few minutes and Olivia thought she had abandoned the conversation but then Casey spoke again.

"I wasn't raped.", she whispered plainly and then started to cry.

The declaration taking Olivia by surprise she paused for a second before gently pulling on Casey's arm.

"Casey look at me.", she instructed as the red head allowed herself to be turned over until she was facing the detective but not looking into her face.

Olivia tenderly wiped the tears from her friend's cheeks with her thumb.

"Sweetheart…", she began slowly unsure of where to go with this, "honey, what are you talking about? I was at the hospital with you…". Olivia's voice trailed off.

"You don't understand…", Casey mumbled still staring at the comforter between them.

Olivia reached over and guided the ADA's chin up forcing the younger woman to look at her.

"Help me understand then, Case.", she said compassionately.

The detective watched in confusion as the tears continued to fall down her friend's face.

"I… I d-didn't… stop him.", Casey choked out but then continued before Olivia could interject. "I didn't… I didn't say anything, Olivia. I didn't tell him no. I didn't bite him or scratch him or fight him. I froze. I… I couldn't breath. I couldn't… move. I did nothing."

Casey pulled her head away from Olivia's hand and stared back down at the comforter in shame. "I… I… l-let h-him."

Casey's declaration hit Olivia like a ton of bricks.

"Oh Casey! Sweetheart no… you didn't let anyone do anything!".

She immediately reached for her broken friend and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Honey, what happened to you…", the older woman said firmly, "he had NO RIGHT to do that to you. This is NOT in ANY WAY your fault. I promise you that. You did not ask for this."

Olivia sighed and began to speak more gently, "Casey, from what you told me you were in shock. He had you physically restrained. You didn't have to say no, sweetheart. No one has any right to hurt you like that. Ever."

Olivia felt Casey's sobs begin to subside though she continued to remain in the detective's protective embrace.

Olivia leaned her cheek against to the top of the attorney's head and rubbed her back surprised at the somewhat maternal instinct she was feeling. Though Olivia soon realized that Casey was done talking for the night, Olivia refused to let herself fall asleep as if by staying awake she could protect the young woman in her arms from her demons.


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

Olivia placed her cereal bowl in Casey's dish washer and let out a sigh as she closed the door and let the weight of her body slump against the counter.

It had not been an easy night.

Casey had woken up just about every hour in varying states of panic and terror. Each time Olivia had done her best to calm the young woman but Casey had refused to talk about her nightmares.

Right now Casey was sitting alone in the living room in front of what Olivia was sure was still an untouched bowl of cereal.

Sure, Olivia dealt with rape victims every day but she only dealt with victims in the short term. That's where her training ended. She could comfort Casey as best she could as a friend but she knew that she was ill-equipped to really help the young woman heal. For that Casey would need professional help. But the detective also knew that getting Casey to agree with this would not be easy.

Letting out another sigh Olivia pushed herself away from the counter and made her way back to the living room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Son of a bitch!", Elliot yelled as the hot coffee made contact with his leg.

"Jesus Christ, Fin!", he shouted as he shot up from his seat, "Watch what you're doing!"

"Maybe you should watch where you put your damn cup down!", Fin retorted as the captain walked out of his office.

"What's going on out here?", Cragen demanded.

Elliot and Fin both stared at each other for a second before mumbling a response.

"What was that?", Cragen bellowed before taking a deep breath and checking his anger.

"Look," he began, "I know everyone's working on no sleep here but it's not going to help Novak if you guys start getting at each other's throats. I need you three to keep your heads in the game."

"Elliot", he said looking down at the coffee stained khakis, "get out of here and go change your pants."

"Munch? Fin? Show me what you've found on these tapes."

John cleared his throat and spoke up for the first time.

"Well captain", he replied, "we found something but it's not much to go on…"

Munch grabbed the mouse away from Fin and rewound the recording a few seconds.

"This is the front desk camera at 10:55am. Watch here.", John instructed slowing down the recording. "We've got a shot of a guy in jeans and a hooded sweatshirt leaving the building about five minutes before Olivia found Casey."

"Looks like you've found our guy", Cragen agreed, "did any of the cameras get a clear shot of his face?"

"We've checked every tape cap", Fin interjected, "this guy is ghost except for his one appearance on this camera at 10:55."

Cragen let out a frustrated sigh and ran his hand over his head.

"This precinct is equipped with 27 cameras and you're telling me that this is the only shot of this guy that we've got?", he said incredulously, "that's impossible. He must have come from somewhere!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey.", Olivia said softly as she lowered herself onto the couch next to Casey. As she suspected, Casey's breakfast was sitting in front of her untouched.

The young woman, who was staring at nothing, had such an empty hollow look in her eyes it broke Olivia's heart.

Reaching over, Olivia covered Casey's hand with her own.

"Case?", she asked gently. "Honey, you've really gottta put something in your stomach. You haven't eaten in over 38 hours…"

Casey's eyes dropped to the bowl in front of her but her eyes remained unfocused.

"I…", her voice cracked as she tried to speak but it was as if her voice wasn't working properly.

"I'm just…", she tried again before shaking her head as if she was giving up.

Olivia pushed the dishes out of the way and moved over so she was sitting on the coffee table across from Casey.

"Casey listen to me.", Olivia said taking her hands, "I'm going to get you through this okay? Just don't give up on me, Case. Let me help you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Look this is ridiculous.", Fin said exasperated throwing his pencil down on the desk. "We're wasting our time. We've looked at these tapes a million times. There's only one guy in jeans and a hoody and the only shot of him is him leaving the precinct."

Munch opened his mouth to reply but closed it again and looked up as he heard the squad room door open and close.

"Who said our guy was wearing the same thing when he came into the precinct…?", Munch said.

Fin looked up and followed Munch's gaze to the door where Elliot had just walked in wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

"Okay…", Fin began slowly, "so basically you just widened our search to a man who could be wearing anything. Perfect."

Fin pushed his chair back away from his desk and threw his arms up in the air. "We've got nothing."

"Then we keep looking until we do have something." Elliot said pulling up a chair. "I don't care how big the haystack is… I'm not giving up."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Try this." Olivia said gently as she handed Casey a glass of milk. "We can try something more substantial later when you feel up to it."

Casey accepted the glass and forced herself to drink some of the contents. Her hand shook slightly as she brought the glass to her lips. Her hands did that now; the shaking. She'd tried to stop it but she couldn't. It was just another sign to everyone else in the world that she was damaged.

She wanted it to stop. She wanted to show everyone that she was strong. Stronger than this.

But she wasn't strong. She had let herself be raped.

Casey vaguely became aware that someone was calling her name.

She looked over at Olivia. Olivia would have been strong. Olivia would have screamed and fought and gotten away.

"Casey?", Olivia said again.

Casey felt Olivia pull the glass from her hands and heard the glass being placed on the table. She looked down and noticed the spilled milk on her pants and the tears that were blurring her vision. She hadn't realized she was crying.

She felt Olivia's hand on her arm and then felt as the older woman pulled her into a hug.


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

"There!", Munch said empathically pointing to the screen. "There it is again! Rewind the tape!"

"I think my partner's finally lost it." Fin said dryly but did as he was told.

"Stop!", Munch exclaimed. "Right there!"

"What are we looking at, John?", Cragen asked as he joined the group around the monitor.

"Watch the woman in the hat on camera 3.", Munch instructed as Fin slowed the tape down. "Watch when she walks out of range of this camera…"

Elliot, Cragen, and Fin did as they were told. The woman in the hat walked down the hallway. Her presence was recorded by camera 3 until she was out of range and was subsequently picked up by camera 4.

"I don't get it.", Elliot announced as the image of the woman moved off the screen.

"Rewind it again, Fin." Munch demanded.

"John, maybe you could clue the rest of us onto your revelation here…", Cragen instructed.

"There's a blind spot right… there!", Munch exclaimed pointing to the screen.

"Okay…", Fin began, "I'm still not following… camera 4 picks her up again…"

"But look at the umbrella in her hand!", Munch said clearly getting frustrating. "Rewind it again. The umbrella is in her left hand on camera 3 and then it switches to her right hand on camera 4."

"He's right! Look!", Elliot said.

"From the times on these cameras there's a two second gap between where the subject falls out of range for camera 3 and is picked up again by camera 4. Two seconds isn't enough time for her to seamlessly switch hands without either camera picking it up.", Munch explained.

"The recording times on the cameras are off…", Cragen said incredulously.

"Not only that," Elliot continued picking up on Cragen's thought, "but there's a larger blind spot than two seconds…"

Fin jumped in. "Say this isn't the only blind spot in the precinct… if the perp knew where the blind spots where he could walk through this precinct virtually unnoticed…"

"It makes sense in theory", Elliot began, "but our guy only shows up on one camera. One out of almost 30. That means he comes into the building and is picked up by camera 1. Then sometime later he changes into jeans and a sweatshirt. Then follows a long continuous path of blind spots to where Casey is attacked and back until he exits the building past camera 1 again. … there can't possibly be THAT many blind spots in this building. And even if they are how would our perp know exactly where they were?"

Everyone paused for a minute staring at the screen.

"Because he set the cameras himself…", Munch replied slowly. "Our guy sits in his office all day watching us on these cameras… or probably more accurately watching women on these cameras. One day he notices the blind spot. Maybe it starts off as a game. He sees if he can get from point A to point B while appearing on the fewest cameras possible. Then he starts adjusting the cameras and the times. It's not noticeable to anyone else because most people walk in a straight line past all the cameras. Suddenly our little video voyeur has managed to make himself invisible."

"Well I'll be dammed…", Cragen replied. "Good work, Munch. I want the three of you down to that security office now and I want anyone with access to that office and those cameras in interrogation now."

"You got it, Cap", Munch replied as the three detectives hurried for the door.


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

Rodney Turner.

A 32 year old security computer technician.

Turner was not only the lone technician who's whereabouts could not be accounted for the previous morning but he also rubbed all three detectives the wrong way.

Shortly after bringing Turner up the squad room Elliot called Olivia.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't know Elliot…", Olivia sighed, "I'm not sure she can handle it."

"You've gotta talk to her, Liv", Elliot replied. "I wish there was another way but…"

Now it was Elliot's turn to sigh.

"We got the rape kit back, Liv", Elliot said. "It was positive for fluids. Now we've got DNA and a suspect but no way to link the two. The only way we're going to get Turner's DNA is with a court order and the only way we're going to get a court order is if Casey can pick him out of a lineup."

"I hear what you're saying, El, and I know you're right it's just…", Olivia lowered her voice, "I've never seen her like this before, El. It's like she's shutting down."

Both detectives were silent for a moment before Elliot spoke again.

"Munch and Fin have Turner in interrogation now. Now that we've got him we're going to have to charge him or let him go and this guy… now that he knows we're on to him if we let him go I'm not sure we'll be able to find him again."

Elliot paused, "Try and talk to her, Liv… if you really think she can't handle it then we'll try to figure something else out…"

Olivia sighed. She knew there'd be nothing left to figure out. Elliot was right. Once Munch and Fin cut him loose this guy would bolt and they wouldn't likely get another chance at him.

Olivia silently weighed the pros and cons of sheltering Casey but at the same time letting a potential rapist back on the street. Under any other circumstances there wouldn't be any question as to what had to be done. But now… after the hospital and the interview and the nightmares… Olivia seriously questioned whether or not Casey could handle having to see her attacker again.

"Liv?"

Olivia jumped slightly as Elliot's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"What? Sorry, I'm still here.", she replied. "I'll talk to her, El… but it has to be her decision. If she says no we scrap the whole thing, deal?"

"Ok", Elliot conceded and then paused before continuing, "listen, Liv, I think we all want what's best for Casey here. I don't want to hurt her any more than you do…"

"I know, El. Let me talk to her and I'll call you back and let you know what she says.", Olivia replied before saying goodbye and hanging up her phone.

Making her way back to the living room Olivia saw that Casey was still in pretty much the same position that she had left her in.

Olivia dreaded what she was about to do. She knew the Casey sitting in front of her was a traumatized victim but she also knew that the old Casey was still in there somewhere.

That's actually what had her concerned at the moment.

She knew that despite whatever the young attorney was going through, the old Casey would force herself to do the lineup.

Olivia just had this horrible feeling that Casey wasn't ready….


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC._

Casey closed her eyes as Cragen pressed the button on the intercom and instructed the officer on duty to send the suspects in.

"Take your time, Casey", Serena said.

Casey was finding it more difficult to open her eyes than she thought. How many times had she practically forced victims to stand in the very spot she was standing and name their attacker? And yet she was terrified of opening her eyes. Terrified of what she would see on the other side of the glass.

Casey swallowed hard but it did little to relieve the lump in her throat. Knowing that turning around and running away wasn't an option, she took several deep breaths and slowly opened her eyes.

Immediately her breath hitched. She saw him. Number four. She hadn't even looked at any of the other suspects. When she had opened her eyes she was looking directly into his. The same eyes that would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life.

She opened her mouth to identify him but no sound came out.

It was just like before. …when she was pinned to the bathroom wall. She had tried to scream then. But she couldn't.

She felt him closing off her airway.

Casey started gasping.

Not again… No… 

It was as if his eyes were looking directly into her soul.

Trying desperately to catch her breath, Casey took an unsteady step back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Casey?", Serena asked, the worry evident in her voice, "Casey, do you see the man who attacked you?"

Olivia exchanged a concerned look with Serena when a trembling Casey nodded and took another step back but didn't respond.

"Casey, I need-", Serena began but was interrupted when suspect number four suddenly lunged at the two-way mirror.

Olivia jumped when the suspect suddenly slammed into the glass and began yelling Casey's name.

The detective's head whipped around no longer sensing Casey at her side.

The young attorney was hyperventilating on the floor… desperately scrambling backwards even after she'd already reached the back wall.

Olivia quickly dropped down by Casey's side while Cragen ran out of the room to join the officers who were restraining Turner.

"Casey!", Olivia exclaimed finally grabbing a hold the younger woman's flailing arms. "It's okay, Casey! You're okay!"

Though Olivia was firmly holding onto Casey's hands, the woman's body was still thrashing furiously.

"She's having a panic attack!", Olivia called over to Serena.

"I'm calling an ambulance.", Serena replied as she pulled out her cell phone.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Casey effectively pinning the woman's arms down to prevent her from hurting herself. Pulling Casey into her lap she held onto the traumatized woman firmly and began speaking gently into her ear.

"Casey, it's Olivia. He's gone, sweetheart. It's okay… shh… It's okay… just breathe"

Casey let out a straggled cry as she continued to try to throw her body around.

"Shhh.. you're safe now, Casey. I got you. It's alright. Just breathe for me, honey. Nice and easy."

Several more minutes passed until Olivia felt a hand on her shoulder and saw a paramedic kneel down next to her holding an oxygen mask above Casey's face.

"It's Casey right?", the paramedic said looking to Olivia for confirmation.

Olivia nodded.

"Casey?", the paramedic began gently, "my name is Sarah. I'm going to help you. I need you to take slow deep breaths for me. In through the nose, out through the mouth…"

Sarah positioned the oxygen mask closer to Casey's face.

Casey's eyes were still wide with fear as she continued to gasp.

"Casey, you're going to get through this… ", Sarah said encouragingly, "Nothing bad is going to happen. It's just a panic attack. It's going to pass. Don't fight it."

Several seconds passed and gradually Casey's tired body stopped struggling until she was left trembling and wheezing in the detective's arms.

"That's it, honey.", Olivia whispered. "Just relax."

"See? Focus on the anxiety, Casey." Sarah instructed. "You're going to feel it continue to go down."

Casey reached out and clutched Olivia's hand while almost succeeding in taking a deep breath.

"In through the nose, out through the mouth, Casey", Sarah said gently. "You're safe here. No one can hurt you…"

After several more minutes of encouragement and instruction Casey's heart rate and breathing finally returned to somewhat normal levels.

Olivia continued to hold Casey while looking over the young woman's head at the paramedic.

"Thank you", Olivia whispered.

Sarah gave Olivia a small smile. "My daughter suffers from panic attacks.", she explained, "they can be pretty scary when you don't know what you're dealing with but the important thing to remember is that they always go away."

Olivia nodded and returned the smile.

"I'd still like to get Casey to the hospital.", Sarah said, "She looks a little dehydrated. If you can help me get her up onto the stretcher I can call in my partner, Bob, to help me carry her out to the bus.

After some maneuvering Olivia and Sarah managed to help Casey onto the stretcher.

As soon as Casey was lying down her whole body went rigid and she once again looked terrified.

"She doesn't like being on her back," Olivia said quickly.

Sarah didn't look for an explanation but instead quickly raised the top of the stretcher so Casey was sitting up.

Olivia stepped closer and placed her hand on Casey's arm while Sarah stepped out to grab her partner.

"I'm so sorry I put you through this, Case", Olivia said softly while biting back tears. "I never should have put you in this position. I'm so Sorry…"

Sensing Olivia's internal torment and not wanting the detective to hold herself responsible, Casey reached up and covered the detective's hand with her own. Casey managed a weak but comforting squeeze before the paramedics returned and carried Casey out to the ambulance with Olivia following not far behind.


End file.
